Mommy time & dollar tree haul! Day 77
Sep 23, 2018
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dffPKg8HtgU

this is my story and welcome to it okay
my husband will pick that up a little
bit later anyways welcome to Sunday oh
god I just feel like this weekend
is so long because I was well Jeremiah
was out of school Friday so I think that
that's why it seems like this weekend
took so much longer to get through but I
can honestly say I am I am happy that we
are at the end of the week and and that
we're getting to the week I'm totally
okay with hating the week this weekend
was a little bit tough for me to say the
least
I think
I guess I feel like I am kind of
struggling a little bit the last couple
of days and you know when you when you
um what am I trying to say when you're
always the strong one in a relationship
not talking marriage but just a
friendship for you know relationships
and those dynamics not talking marriage
or motherhood relationships but when you
are the strong one that always seems to
carry the load it can get very tiring
and at some point emotionally you're
gonna get drained because there's only
so much that a person can handle before
they just say you know I kind of had
enough you know I love knowing that I'm
always there for the people that I love
and that I care for
but I also take a lot of my
relationships struggles on my own
shoulders and that's not always a good
thing you know I'm always wanting to fix
everybody's problems I've always wanted
to take the hard one and that way I can
lessen it for the person next to me
because I don't like seeing people
struggle I don't like seeing people hurt
or you know unhappy or you know needing
change and even if that means that I
take on that pain or frustration
whatever I feel like I'm I'm stronger so
I can I can handle it and ultimately
what happens is eventually you know both
only a normal human being can only hold
on to that for so long before they're
just like okay I'm out and I'm tapped
and I think that's kind of where I've
gotten right now my life is I'm feeling
a little tapped out you know I and I and
I don't say this in a bad way please
everybody watching don't take this in a
bad way but you know I have to also
remind myself that I too struggle and I
too have my days where I need to be able
to not vent but I need to also have a
time in my life where I can say you know
what I need a hand to hold I need a hug
I need to hear that it's gonna be okay I
need some words of advice
and I need someone just to sit and
listen to me for a little bit and I'm
not it doesn't come natural to me for
that it doesn't come natural for me to
ask for that because I clearly am just
not that that's not my personality like
I said I am the one that is always the
one that people come to to vent or to
talk or you know whatever I'm the one
that people come to because you know
that's just how it's always been and I I
take it with open arms you know I feel
very honored that people come to me and
talk to me and you know stuff but
sometimes the ones that you would think
would be there to reassure me that I too
have an ear to listen to sometimes
that's not there and that's really hard
that's really hard sometimes and I think
I've just hit that point this weekend
where you know I have quite a few people
around me that have just been kind of
going through it and you know I if I
could fix every part of their problem I
I would but it's just not it's not
feasible so I'm just drained and last
night I just you know I did something I
haven't done in a very very long time
which was I cried myself to sleep and I
you know my husband felt so bad and so
guilty when he found out that I cried
myself to sleep he's like honey why why
didn't you come to me and talk to me and
you know and tell me that you were
struggling that way I could you know
hold you and make sure that you're okay
and I was like
because to have that done to me would
mean that I'm weak that I can't handle
people you know people's problems and he
just looked at me so dumbfounded like
you really feel that way like why why
would you why would you allow yourself
that and I just I really don't know I
don't know what's been going on with me
but this weekend has just been a really
tough weekend for me and I haven't had a
tough weekend in a long time okay would
a tough week tough day in a long time
you know I've done so good with my
therapy that you know I I haven't felt
like I've needed you know that extra but
I don't know I don't know I I just I
just have been a little bit on the lower
side this weekend and you know something
else that I've been contemplating and
I've been asking myself is
where am I going with my channel I know
the you know it's it's realms around my
weight loss you know and and of course
that's still going that's that's
definitely not changing but do I want to
do daily vlogs you know
are you guys getting bored of my daily
vlogs
am I not putting enough out there for
you guys do I need to maybe do my craft
corner Tuesday and maybe a check-in vlog
for my weight lost you know like my way
and days or you know whatever I don't
know like I'm gonna have coming to you
guys to ask you guys like what what
would you guys like what would you guys
want to see happen because I ultimately
it comes down to it's about you guys so
what do you guys want I need you guys to
tell me because I need to know I don't
want to bore you guys hold on just a sec
hey good go ahead I'm gonna throw you a
new one okay bring on okay so what is
the caramel apple tastes like
I'm sorry I'm really bad I mean I'd be
like a green apple smoothie and so is it
kind of like those suckers yeah I would
say it's relatively close though I would
always add like an extra scoop of
caramel if you wanted to taste more like
a sucker's because they only do one
scoop for smoothies okay so let's go
ahead and do that and besides I almost
do a large nope that's it be naughty
with my with my calories
all right thanks babe
but you know I just I guess where I'm
coming from is I just don't want to be
boring you guys out I don't want you
guys to feel like oh my gosh there we go
good she's in the car doing the same old
same old you know if you guys think that
maybe I should lower my days down if you
guys can just drop it in my comments I
would really appreciate it I'm coming to
you guys and asking you guys because not
only is this about you know this being
my channel but this is also something
that I view as your guys's channel as
well and I've always said that from the
get-go that I don't believe this is just
a channel for me this is a channel for
everybody so I don't want anybody to
feel like I am that this is all about me
or that this decision ultimately is all
about me because it's not I I don't I
really don't look at as that and I don't
want you guys to think of it like that
so for me I would love to hear your
guys's opinion and I would love to know
what you guys filled because then I can
go on from there and see what we need to
do to spice things up you know and make
things fun and you know I love my
channel being about positivity and I
know that that's not always you know
that's not always gonna happen because
I'm a human and I am definitely gonna
have days moments and years and whatever
where I'm gonna have time that I may not
be a bubbly okay because that's just you
know this is all real this is all
me and I'm not about fakeness so if I'm
struggling I'm gonna share with you guys
hey I am struggling and if I'm doing
really good you guys are gonna see it in
my face
how'd you turn you guys off because of
copyright I do you think about it but
Dutch brothers always plays like music
which is great and wonderful and I love
it but uh can't do it with copyright so
anyways back to what we were talking
about so well before I go on so I got a
free drink so I went ahead and I got a
large which I will clearly not be able
to finish this and it will go home to my
kids so I'm done but I got a caramel
apple smoothie ooh let me tell you that
is naughty that is a really good it has
the total take it's just a caramel
caramel apple smoothie but I did an
extra scoop of caramel sure I think she
said caramel powder I could be wrong but
any of my Dutch brother friends if you
guys are down below or if you guys are
watching um fill me in on that is it
powder or is it the actual caramel
liquid I have a couple of girls that
follow me that work at Dutch brothers so
anyways so back to what we are talking
about I just don't want to bore you guys
I really really really don't I want you
know again in this channel to be
something that is
something that you guys can enjoy and
look forward to as much as I am enjoying
putting it out there and I will say that
a lot of my days they're repetitious you
know we have a lot of the same routine
you know especially during the week
business it just depends on how my days
are going in sup but you know I'm not
always able to do certain things or
outings and stuff because it just
depends on what's going on business-wise
but I just don't know how I'm doing I
just don't know how I'm doing with you
guys like I just don't want you guys to
feel like it's the same thing every
single day so drop in my comments below
what you guys want to see done with this
channel you know I've said it before I
will say it again I just want to see my
channel grow I just want to see people
enjoying it and you know those things
are important to me those things are
things that I want trying to turn in
right
I just want to see people enjoy my
channel and when I say my channel it's
not really my channel it's our channel
and I've just seen a lot of of my
subscribers leaving and I don't know
what I'm doing wrong and I wish you know
in a way I wish that it would indicate
you know it would tell me who who has
left so I can reach out to them you know
because it makes me so sad when I see my
numbers going down because that means
that I'm obviously not reaching people
like I thought I was so anyways I just
I'm just probably and I guess
but anyways please let me know again
what you guys do you guys enjoy the
craft corner Tuesdays are you guys
enjoying them is this something worth
continuing to do you guys clearly I mean
might this is a weight loss channel so
clearly my weight loss is number key to
this that's why I have a channel is to
document my weight loss and that's not
going to change that's you know very
important to me
so for that part you know I definitely
that's not going anywhere but what else
do you guys want to see on this channel
what else would
what else would entertain you guys you
know those are things I know you guys
have mentioned about me and only doing
more sit-down videos and we we have
talked about that don't please don't get
me don't get me wrong we have talked
about it and we are trying to find time
to do that it's just our schedules have
clashed a lot lately where we've had
time to sit down when the kids aren't in
our face yelling screaming and carrying
on and making it almost impossible to
have a sodon't visit between the two of
us for a video video
but it's not something either one of us
are opposed to and so those are things
you know I talked to Holly about you
know he can be flogging as well and we
can collaborate those videos i'ma
collaborate and put him together because
there's times where he's got the kids
and he's doing things and you know
that's totally a ok you know why there's
nothing why he could not be helping with
videoing as well you know and so there
has been you know talk between the two
of us about what else we can do as a as
a partner team on making this channel
completely work but I just really really
really really want to extend my hand out
there and ask what can I do here on this
channel that will help keep you guys
entertained without boring you
I don't want to bore you anyways I'm
gonna plug my phone in for a few minutes
because it is completely dead like I
should be getting the 10 minute walk
here in a second and I'm going I'm
heading to Target so when I get there I
will check in with you guys and see what
they have actually I so I decided just
going to cart
enjoy myself so anyways I am looking at
the hearth and hand with my Kolya look
at these they're measuring cups and they
are only $8.99 and I love these they
were on clearance I would get them but
there's 789 like a sugar jar this is
$5.99 count that is I love it like a
salt one clean oh how cute these are
knife holders oh my goodness
took the whole set place cards
I'm not really sure what a scarf I don't
know if you guys know what place cards
are show me
this is $24.99 that's pretty pretty
always looking for my DIY stuff
I could spend three dollars on them
still to spin do for me
this is like my niche like this is my
school
they're so pretty
just a little bit more spending for a
smoke
what you doin look at these plants so
what is so pretty $7.99 still kind of
spendy
14.99
they're almost these are $7.99 so
they're all of us same price
hey guys so I just got home about 30
minutes ago
I ate dinner whoa look it is on my shirt
but it was so good oli
made sirloin steak and what we did was
sorry I'm tryna the justice I feel like
it's crooked
anyways oli bought yesterday from Costco
I don't even know how many pounds it was
I have to ask him but um it was a huge
thing like huge of swirling state or tar
tip tri tip I want to say I'm probably
wrong on that too
anyways it was amazing and he made it
with vegetables and um but anyways so I
just got home and I wanted to show you
guys what I ended up getting tonight uh
but I also wanted to say that I don't
want anybody to think that I am like
hinting that I'm gonna quit YouTube
nothing like that like that would never
even happen I enjoy doing YouTube I love
doing YouTube it's truly a passion as I
have said before and it's something that
you guys are gonna go flying it's truly
a passion of mine and I absolutely love
it
my biggest fear is that I don't want to
be boring people I don't want people to
feel like oh my god here we go again
she's you know she's in the car spending
money you know I just don't want
so I get nervous you know because I'm
just like so I I guess I you know some
of it is self-conscious and like not
self-conscious but um yeah I guess
self-conscious that I am afraid that I
am boring you guys and I don't want to
be that I don't want to do that to you
guys and that's why I brought it to your
guys's attention if you think that maybe
I should just do three days a week
rather than seven days a week and go
from there
like I said I would definitely do my
Tuesday corner craft I would also do my
Saturday weigh-ins well it would be
helpful on Sunday and so my Sunday
check-in and then I thought like maybe
do like one day during between those
days to check in with you guys and kind
of fill you guys in with what all's been
kind of going on so that's something to
think about
not saying that that's what I'm gonna do
like I said this isn't just my channel
this is all of your guys's channel as
well and that's why I'm bringing it to
everybody cuz I just would like to know
what everybody is thinking not just what
I think or what I you know so anyways
now so my shopping spree yes I did go
and I did spend money but you know it
was money that was gifted to me and so
my hubby said go spend your day go do
what you want to do so that's pretty
good so I went to the Dollar Tree Dollar
Tree went to Target first and I went to
the dollar spot they had well I
automatically picked up hand sanitizer
we're right in the beginnings of six
season and I my husband's already
started with a cold yeah this is the one
I like I don't like the like the flowery
kind of smelling ones because I to me I
just don't feel like those cleaners
but uh anyways um so I went ahead and I
was like well I'm just gonna buy another
one of these put it in my purse I have
it all so I was really excited so as all
of you guys seeing the other day I got
this one from Walmart it's a tote purse
I'm really into these purses for some
reason right now don't know why but I am
so they had in the dollar section it was
seven dollars which I spent thirteen for
that one now I want to go back no heist
I really like it so I will keep it but
they had this one for $7 it's just a
regular blue tote it's really pretty
actually I love it
it's nice big sized and you could
intermix so they had so they had this
was seven and this was $3 just a regular
small little wallet and you could
technically if you wanted to uh you
could get the browman because they had
brown too but i did blue one blue just
because that's how I roll
so I just got the blue to match the
purse and I really like it I love it
actually so I got that little set so for
$10 I got a purse and a wallet and then
I also picked up from Target this wasn't
but this was $4.99 this was not in the
dollar section but it's this I always
love body spritz and this one is free
and lovely by body ecology lavender and
amber refreshing mist with essential
oils oh they had the they had the lotion
too but I opted not to get the lotion
I'm just cuz I think it would have been
too much fragrance for me because I get
headaches easily um and then from Target
I was like wow you know I was only in
Target for like maybe an hour and I did
not vlog in target it just was well I
did a little bit but I didn't do as much
as I wanted to target
I'm sorry I have a lot of issues with
target because I did end up having to go
in the car I walked I started doing
walking in the store but my my lower
back started like tightening up really
bad I don't know what is going on it I
told all the night before last that my
back was really bothering me my lower
back and so I was in target tonight and
it started doing that so I just jumped
on over and grabbed a well car push cart
what everyone motor cart and once you do
that target makes it impossible to move
and maneuver around their store in a
motor cart and I will be the first to
say that I wish that they would take in
consideration if they're gonna offer
motor carts to make it more feasible for
the motor carts to get around their
store because I was dragging clothes
like the displays I was dragging him
with me I was knocking into him I was
pushing stuff over and they didn't mean
to it wasn't like I was carelessly doing
it but they make it impossible to fit
any type of motor cart or anything
through some other aisles and it's like
hello if you're gonna offer this as a
thing for people that have disabilities
you need to make it more friendly for
them so that's my little rant about that
so I ended up just going straight from
Target to Dollar Tree I went to a
different one I haven't been there for a
few months so I thought I would just
drop in there and just see what they
have in hold my gosh let me tell ya they
had some lewd stuff so I picked up and
I'll show you guys the stuff that I
grabbed some of this stuff is gonna be
some DIY so so I can't really get into
like complete details on it but I'll
just show you what I picked up and then
eventually you'll see why I picked it up
but anyway so I picked up a mirror I've
been looking for a mirror for a while
now and the mirror there they have not
carried mirrors over at the Dollar Tree
in West Salem so I did find one in
Kaiser thank goodness I picked me up a
spongy spongy from my Bochy cuz I I
throw mine out about every
well about once a month I mean for a
dollar I just changed about once a month
I think that's pretty good
on with the sponge I got it this is a
pup pup very body wash and paw Patrol
I won't even pick that up because Omar
it's like infatuated with paw patrol
right now so and they just started
taking baths in bath tub today oh my god
I was excited so I went ahead and I
picked him up some this one is frosted
berry scented conditioning shampoo but
you can use it also for body wash pretty
much smells the same as this one but I
picked up those for awareness right
because mine has his special soap for
his acne so I don't let him use
fragrance to stuff because I have to be
very careful with his skin what I get
for him and then with the bathroom stuff
for the babies I went ahead and I got
one of those for them my are tea houses
puffball he got one the other day and it
was green I think comas a screen
so this one is Omar's and this one is s
Rose they didn't have any like I was
looking for kitties but they didn't have
it and then I picked up two of these paw
patrol with the straw spouts
for Omar and I picked up two I don't
know it doesn't say what character I'm
thinking it's either pound puppy or paw
Patrol maybe it's paw patrol - oh I bet
you it's paw Patrol because it has the
paw yeah you guys I got two 4s row for
her mind waiting for a new water bottle
that all these people cost oh so what
have I got these for the babies because
come in handy when they're wanting to
drink stuff and I don't like dog with
the mouse
so when having got those for them and
then let's see I got me some lip balm
this one is sparkling lip gloss ultra
glossy moisturizing mega shine doesn't
say what kind but it's a lip gel so I
picked it up for a dollar you can't beat
it then I picked up some of these which
you'll see why when so I was completely
shocked
oh I'm using my phone for you guys I was
completely shocked completely shocked
that they add these so I am excited to
try these but they have for a dollar
they actually carried cell phone covers
for my phone cuz mine is a seven there
at eight plus but seven sevens also work
the seven pluses work with the eight
plus so I went ahead and I picked up I
like that it's just that one and then
see I mean for dollar I mean I can get
those off of wish four dollars so and
then I got this one it's like a 3d
really cool one I'm really excited to
use these I have to cut them open and
then I just got one that looks like wood
and they're cool like they're really
nice material so I mean you cannot beat
it compete it you can't beat it you
can't beat it for a dollar so I got me
some phone covers and then
I did find the keys sign we've got a DIY
I'm going to be doing with these so stay
tuned and then those will also be going
up in my Etsy shop so be watching about
more to come of those and then I got I
picked up two plates green and gray he
picked up two trays yeah oh I thought
about that I picked up blue no yeah no I
didn't and then I picked up two bowls
stay tuned to find out what those are
for
can I tell you guys that would that
would really the moment and then I got
some glass stuff again
you'll have to stay tuned but I picked
up this one I love the look of it
because it has like a shuttered look at
that
I got another one oh my kids I came home
and they have just been like ornery
[Music]
[Music]
I picked up three of these for my
husband we're told him I need him to put
me I can get this on the back great um
it's another one I told him I need him
to make me a shelf like seriously I need
a major shelf so that is what I got so
far so far like I need more right but
anyways yeah so stay tuned as to why I
bought these things because you will
find out some very soon and you're
across one or two days but I am going to
close because I need to get these kids
jammas on and get them for bed because
they are driving me up the wall and I
just want home so clearly they shouldn't
be driving me up the wall but they are
so anyways I will check in though with
you guys tomorrow tomorrow I have a very
very very very busy day I have
counseling in the morning and then
straight from counseling I have to run
to Costco because I have my eye exam at
12:30 and then from there I have
physical therapy at 3:45 but I am
debating if I want to call and cancel my
physical therapy I don't know if I'm
going to or not I have not decided a
hundred percent yet what I'm planning to
do there but I will let you guys know as
soon as I find out what I want to do but
anyways you guys take care I will check
in with you guys bright and shiny
tomorrow morning I have got to get these
kids to bed take care sweet treats
bye bye sometimes just a beautiful view
of the moon is what you need to know
that
even though you're having a hard moment
there's always another day that's going
to come that you can change it around
and make a better moment
here's the wreath that is going to be
for the giveaway remember I will be live
October 26th at 5:00 Pacific Standard
Time please make sure that you are
emailing me to put your name in for the
drawing at Amy 1981 Ramadan at gmail.com
